Monday, April 25, 2011

National Infertility Awareness Week

Myth: A higher-power is telling you that you should not be a parent.

Fact: Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system. It does not discriminate and affects all races, religions, men and women equally and people all over the world. Whether or not you resolve your infertility journey by choosing to become a parent is a function of your determination and not a higher-power.

Parenthood is attainable, if that is truly your goal. You may or may not be fortunate enough to have a biological connection to your child, but if you want the experience of being a parent, you can achieve that dream.

People who choose to be childfree after infertility have examined the avenues to parenthood, considered the advantages and disadvantages, and decided that being a family of two is also a blessing.

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This is National Infertility Awareness Week. I thought long and hard about making this post. I wrote it and then put it away. I rewrote it and then tweaked it some more. Those of you who know me in real life know that I will talk all day about almost anything as long as it’s not personal or emotional, so you know what a big deal this is.

We have been trying to become parents for 18 months now. We have been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist for unspecified infertility since July 2010. We have had four cycles of IUI, which resulted in one pregnancy in November, a missed miscarriage two days before Christmas and a D&C in January.

We are coming to a cross roads. My insurance will cover two more tries at IUI and that is all. No coverage for anything more aggressive, which is the norm for most insurance. I am lucky that it even covers the IUIs. If neither try is successful, anything else we do will be completely out of pocket. Fortunately, we do have options.

* Do nothing and accept that we will be a family of two (plus a furbaby) and enjoy our lives together.

* Adoption – domestic infant adoption is neither quick nor inexpensive. I’ve researched several local and national adoption organizations. At our age, placement can take up to 2 years or more and the costs range from $25,000 - $40,000.

* IVF – We could do IVF. This comes with a huge physical toll in addition to the expense, $20,000, with no guarantee of success. Our clinic’s success rate for those over 40 using their own eggs is 24%.

* Donor eggs – We could do IVF with donor eggs. This eliminates the all the meds and shots and monitoring and blood work that comes with IVF. It also increases the success rate to about 60%. We could do one cycle with donor eggs for $14,500, with no guarantee. We could participate in the shared risk program for $29,500, which gives you up to six IVF cycles with the guarantee of a take home baby or a complete refund.

So, that’s where we stand, here, at the beginning of IUI cycle #5. We are lucky that we have support from the family and friends that we have told and that we have the resources to make whichever way we decide to go viable. There are plenty of people for whom all of these options are out of reach.

We will gladly accept all your thoughts and prayers as we work together to decide what is best for us and we will happily share any good news, if and when we have some.

Understanding Infertility: http://www.resolve.org/infertility101

National Infertility Awareness Week: http://www.resolve.org/takecharge

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter

I just wanted to take a minute to wish you all a Happy Easter.

Monday, April 4, 2011

From A to Z

I've been a bad blogger again. I've even been bad about reading other blogs, but I was playing catch up today when I saw this on my friend Mandee's blog and I promptly stole it. It's an alphabetical trivia about me post. Enjoy.

A. Age - 41 (yikes, how did that happen?)

B. Bed Size - Queen, big enough for my 6' 3" husband, but not so big that we can't find each other in it.

C. Chore you dislike - I dislike dishes more than anything. Fortunately, Jim does them most of the time. I think I can count the number of times I've done dishes since meeting him on one hand.

D. Dogs - I like them, but we don't have one and won't because I think it's mean to keep a dog in a place without a yard.

E. Essential Start to the Day - It is impossible for me to function in the morning without a Diet Coke.

F. Favorite Color - I like blue and yellow, especially together.


G. Gold or Silver - I like white gold best. Which reminds me I need to get my ring cleaned.

H. Height - On a good day, I'm 5' 5".

I. Instruments you play(ed) - I played clarinet for seven years in middle and high school. I play piano well enough to pick out my vocal part. I play handbells.

J. Jelly bean flavor - Any but the black ones. Yuck.

K. Kids - Nope.

L. Lucky number - Seven.

M. Month - October for fall, football, Halloween and my birthday.
N. Nicknames
- Jim is the only person who calls me Becca. My closest friends are allowed to call me Reba. For everyone else, it's Rebecca.

O. Overnight hospital stays - Just when I was born. Fortunately, I've been pretty healthy.

P. Pet peeves - I think the biggest one is when other people keep me from doing what I need to do, because they are late or slackers or whatever.

Q. Quote from a movie - " It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all. DROP... YOUR... SWORD!" Love me some Princess Bride.
R. Righty or lefty
- Right handed.

S. Siblings - I have one younger sister and she totally rocks. Just ask her.

T. Time you wake up - I set my alarm for 6:30. Then I roll over and go back to sleep until 7:30 most days.

U. Underwear - Everyone should wear some. I usually go with a hi-cut brief.

V. Veggies you don't like - I like many more veggies now than I used to, but I still don't like Brussel sprouts or beets.

W. What makes you run late
- The fact that I can't get out of bed in the morning. The fact that I can't find my keys or my phone or my Metro card. Traffic.

X. X-rays you've had - I've had dental x-rays, more mammograms than I can remember and one HSG.

Y. Yummy food you make - I think everything I make is yummy. I learned to cook from my Mom - enough said.

Z. Zoo animal favorites - Baby animals! I don't really care which kind. My co-workers and I spent a good portion of each day for a month watching for Tai Shan on the National Zoo's panda cam when he was born.